Questions and Answers about Couples Therapy Intensives

We aren’t really in a crisis. Is an intensive the right move for us?

Couples who are not in a crisis are an excellent fit for an intensive. Those who are ready to do the work, and are primed to jump right in, can accomplish so much in 1-3 days.

For what reasons would you not recommend an intensive for a couple?

There are a few reasons that intensives aren’t the most supportive option. Here are some (but not all) of them:

• Different agendas - one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn’t (this is the most common reason)

• Untreated addiction

• Active/on-going affair

• Safety concerns (if one partner doesn’t feel safe in a room with the other partner)

My assessment process is thorough, and you can trust I won’t recommend an intensive if it’s not the right fit and wouldn’t be supportive for you.

Are the intensive hours during the day or all day and all evening too?

Intensives take place during the day (starting typically at 9 am and ending before 5 (often earlier). Each one has built in flexibility on session length and timing as well as breaks, depending on how the clients are feeling, the client’s goals, and where we are at in our progress. I reserve the entire day for you, so we can be flexible.

Your evenings are free. If applicable and accessible to you, I strongly recommend child care and keeping your evenings free of other obligations. This supports a retreat like environment, where your relationship is the priority. Some couples like to enjoy a dinner out or just relax together, Others like quiet personal reflection or contemplation time. There is no wrong answer, but giving yourself that space is recommended if possible.

I’m already in individual therapy; can you work with that therapist as well?

Absolutely, if you sign a release form and would like for me to do so. The intensive investment includes collaboration with your therapist(s), and can support our work.

What if we’re already doing couples therapy with someone else and also want to do an intensive?

Great! Adding an intensive on to weekly work can breathe new life into your work. In this case, once you both sign a release, I would collaborate extensively with your current therapist, consulting with them before and after the intensive. This would include sending a written summary after the intensive to both you and your on-going couples therapist. Your relationship is my priority, and working with other professionals to support it is a tremendous way to move toward a positive result.

If we’re a good fit for weekly therapy or an intensive, how do we choose?

Great question - there is no wrong answer here. It simply depends on your preference. Some couples like weekly sessions, and like to let some “life” happen in between them as they move toward reconnection and practice new ways of interacting. For other couples, being able to go deep and get momentum in a few days is highly motivating, and intensives are the right choice for them. Another reason couples might choose an intensive is if they have something coming up that will take a lot of energy and want to strengthen their bond beforehand (the birth of a child, a move, a new job).

What’s the difference between a 1 and a 3 day Intensive?

A 1 day intensive is ideal for:

• Couples who have done some therapeutic work before and understand their cycle, but are feeling stuck and want support moving through it.

• Couples who want a “tune-up” of their connection. Some couples choose to do 1-2 annually as maintenance work.

• couples who want to uplevel their relationship, and are ready to invest a whole day toward understanding any early patterns of disconnection and learning new ways to strengthen their bond, sometimes before a big transition (a wedding, a birth, a move).

• couples looking to jumpstart their weekly therapy work. It moves us through the first 6-8 weeks of therapy in just one day, which the weekly work after that builds upon.

A 3 day intensive is ideal for:

• couples who have been stuck in a pattern of disconnection, looking to go deep to understand these patterns and find reconnection.

• couples seeking a true momentum shift in their current dynamic.

• couples seeking 4-6 months of progress in 3 days.

Still not sure? Book a free consult and I can help you decide.

Is follow-up work required after the intensive?

Strictly speaking, no, it is not required. However, I typically recommend one 50 minute session 1-2 weeks after your intensive as a check-in. It can help to consolidate the work we’ve done, clarify what you still want to work on, and decide how and when to do that. If you decide you want to continue with weekly sessions, you can do those with me if I have weekly availability and you live in Michigan, or I can refer you to another EFT therapist in your state through my network. I work closely with any therapists I refer to to ensure continuity of care.

All follow-up sessions are done at my usual rate of $300/session.

Are couples therapy intensives successful?

As I’ve said, my assessment process is thorough, so that I can get you as close as possible to a successful outcome. Much of the outcome depends on your transparency and willingness to commit to the work. The clearer and more transparent you are throughout the process, the more likely we are to be able to have a successful result.

Further, the approach I use, Emotionally Focused Therapy is specifically intended to restructure and secure the bond between partners. It’s widely considered the gold standard in couples therapy.

How does payment work?

Your dates are secured with a 50% deposit for both the 1 and 3 day intensives. The balance is paid on each day of the intensive.

How does scheduling work?

I keep a select number of intensive spots open throughout the year. Typically, 1 day intensives are scheduled on Thursdays or Fridays, and 3 day intensives take place Wednesday - Friday. If you’ve decided to book an intensive, I will send you several options that I have available. Once you sign the intensive policy doc and pay a 50% deposit, your dates are reserved just for you. Then, we get started with new client paperwork and I will guide you through the process until your intensive date.

For more general Q&A, click here.